When someone is considering divorce, misinformation often creates unnecessary fear. Social media, online forums, and well-meaning friends frequently repeat outdated or incorrect assumptions about how divorce works in New Jersey. The result is confusion, increased anxiety, and poor decision-making at a time when clarity matters most.
Over the past several decades, particularly since the 1980s and accelerating through statutory reforms in the 2000s and 2010s, New Jersey divorce law has evolved significantly. For people in their 30s, 40s, and early 50s, much of what they “know” about divorce is often based on how divorces worked for their parents or grandparents. Courts today place far greater emphasis on settlement, fairness, and practical outcomes, rather than rigid rules or outdated assumptions. Yet many myths persist, often making an already difficult process more stressful than necessary.
Below are some of the most common misunderstandings and what New Jersey law actually requires.
Most Divorce Cases Do Not Go to Trial
Even when spouses disagree on many issues, a trial is not inevitable. New Jersey courts actively promote settlement and require parties to participate in structured efforts to resolve disputes.
Parties may engage in private mediation at any time during the divorce. Once litigation begins, courts typically require participation in court-sponsored settlement programs, including the Early Settlement Panel and mandatory economic mediation. These processes resolve the vast majority of cases before trial.
Avoiding trial and reaching a settlement allows parties to maintain control over outcomes, reduces emotional strain, preserves privacy, and often leads to more workable long-term arrangements—particularly when children are involved.
You Can File for Divorce in New Jersey Even if You Were Married Elsewhere
Where a marriage took place usually does not matter. What matters is whether New Jersey has jurisdiction over the case, which is generally based on residency.
In most cases, one spouse must have lived in New Jersey for at least one year before filing for divorce. There are exceptions. For example, when adultery is the ground for divorce, the one-year residency requirement does not apply. Jurisdiction issues may also differ when one spouse lives out of state or internationally, but the location of the wedding itself is rarely a barrier.
You Do Not Need to Live Apart to File for Divorce
New Jersey does not require spouses to live separately before filing for divorce. While extended separation is one possible ground for divorce, it is not mandatory.
Many spouses file for divorce while still living in the same household due to financial constraints, children, or practical considerations. The court can still address custody, support, and financial issues even when parties remain under the same roof.
Assets Are Not Automatically Divided 50/50
New Jersey follows the principle of equitable distribution, not equal distribution. Courts divide marital assets and debts in a manner that is fair under the circumstances, using statutory factors such as the length of the marriage and each spouse’s contributions.
Common assets addressed in divorce include the marital home, retirement accounts, bank and investment accounts, business interests, vehicles, personal property, and marital debt. While many cases result in an approximately equal division, the law does not require it.
There Are No Alimony Guidelines
Unlike child support, alimony in New Jersey is not determined by a formula. Judges evaluate statutory factors, including income, earning capacity, need, and the marital standard of living, to determine whether alimony is appropriate and, if so, the amount and duration.
This fact-specific approach reflects the wide variation in marriages and financial circumstances.
Alimony Tax Treatment Depends on Timing
Alimony payments are treated differently for tax purposes depending on when the governing court order was entered. Orders finalized on or before December 31, 2018 follow prior federal tax rules, under which alimony was deductible to the payor and taxable to the recipient. Orders entered after January 1, 2019 are not deductible to the payor and are not taxable income to the recipient.
“Permanent” Alimony is No Longer Permanent
What was once called permanent alimony is now referred to as open durational alimony. While it does not have a fixed termination date, it may be modified or terminated under certain circumstances, including the payor’s retirement.
This reflects a shift away from the assumption that alimony must continue indefinitely regardless of changing life circumstances.
New Jersey Does Not Recognize Legal Separation
New Jersey does not recognize legal separation as a formal legal status. Couples may live apart during the divorce process, but they remain legally married until a final judgment of divorce is entered.
Living separately during a divorce often requires temporary agreements or court orders addressing financial responsibilities, parenting schedules, and household expenses. Without formal orders in place, separation can create uncertainty and disputes.
Courts Do Not Favor Mothers in Custody Decisions
Custody decisions in New Jersey are gender neutral. Courts apply a “best interests of the child” standard and evaluate multiple factors related to parenting ability, stability, and the child’s specific needs. Joint legal custody is common and reflects the expectation that both parents play meaningful roles in their child’s life.
Child Support and Parenting Time Are Separate
Child support and parenting time are separate legal obligations. A parent may not withhold parenting time because support was not paid, and a parent may not stop paying support because parenting time was denied. Each issue is enforced independently by the court.
Why This Matters
Understanding how New Jersey divorce law actually works allows people to make informed decisions, reduce unnecessary conflict, and approach the process with realistic expectations. If you have questions about how these principles apply to your situation, speaking with an experienced New Jersey family law attorney can provide clarity and direction at a critical time.