Lindabury, McCormick, Estabrook & Cooper, P.C. Firm News & Events
For spouses who have made the decision to divorce, the emotional toll placed on them and their children can be quite challenging. One of the most consequential matters that must be decided will be how both parents address raising their children once they have separated. Common parenting issues include visitation and custody arrangements, differing parenting styles, discipline, education and the introduction of new parental relationships. Navigating these issues either during the divorce process or in the months and years after can be daunting and not easily remedied. These issues often require careful management and, in some cases, professional support, to ensure that the best interests of the children are prioritized.
For individuals who find it impossible to resolve disputes regarding their children amongst themselves, or for those who cannot effectively co-parent and work together to ensure their children’s best interests are met, the appointment of a parenting coordinator may prove to be a helpful tool.
Parenting coordinators are neutral third parties, typically attorneys, appointed by the court to assist parents in implementing agreed upon or court-ordered parenting plans and navigate issues that arise in the day to day life of raising a child. The appointment of a parenting coordinator can prove to be especially important in high conflict scenarios when the disdain toward a former spouse may cloud each party’s ability to do what is best for their children.
A parenting coordinator’s primary role is to help parents resolve disputes and if it becomes necessary, and permitted, to make decisions in the interest of a couple’s children when parents are unable to do so on their own without the need for further court intervention. While parenting coordinators are utilized frequently after divorce, in some instances a parenting coordinator can be appointed while a divorce matter is still pending upon the court’s decision or order of a custody and parenting time plan.
In 2023, Rule 5:8D was created which defined the role of a parenting coordinator. The rule outlines procedures to be followed when appointing a parenting coordinator and defines the role the parenting coordinator is empowered to perform. R. 5:8D also created a statewide list of individuals approved to be appointed as a parenting coordinator by the court who have completed the required training. Parenting coordinators can be retired Superior Court judges, currently licensed attorneys, mental health professionals in good standing with the appropriate state board or agency or an alternative or complementary dispute resolution professional in good standing in that person’s given industry. In addition to those professional requirements, they also must take a minimum of 40 hours of training, which shall include training specific to issues that are commonly handled by parenting coordinators. According to the New Jersey Judiciary’s Qualifications for Admission to the New Jersey Judiciary Roster of Statewide Approved Parenting Coordinators the topics include: “family and child development; psychological issues in separation and divorce; family dynamics; New Jersey family law; high-conflict family dynamics; parenting coordination process; techniques, domestic violence; the impact of divorce on children at varying developmental levels; diversity, inclusion, and cultural competency; and community resources.”
5:8D specifically lists goals that are to be achieved when using a parenting coordinator. These goals are focused around helping parents better communicate and interact in their children’s best interests, help assist in aligning each parents’ priorities that they have for their children and provide a means of dispute resolution and conflict reduction without the need for further court intervention.
In addition to the creation of R. 5:8D, the Administrative Office of the Courts set forth a notice with specific guidelines and forms to be used by Parenting Coordinators. The guidelines specifically outline the authority of a Parenting Coordinator and provide that they are not permitted to make any recommendations regarding financial issues or legal or physical custody, which shall be reserved specifically for the court.
While not exhaustive, the AOC guidelines provide a list of issues that a parenting coordinator may provide recommendations. These include issues such as logistics for pick up and drop off of children, babysitting and work-related child care issues, conflicts regarding children’s activities and discipline.
When being forced to turn to the court for assistance, litigants are often faced with waiting until there are enough issues present or the issues have grown to a size significant enough to merit the filing of a motion or seeking further court intervention. During that period when they are deciding whether or not to engage an attorney to file a motion or are weighing their options with an attorney as to when a motion may be appropriate, smaller issues fester without resolution which may cause feelings of uncertainty and unnecessary stress for individuals struggling to work with their former spouse. These stresses are often felt by children who find themselves caught between their two parents.
Since parenting coordinators are able to speak directly with parents on a regular basis, they are able to develop a relationship with members of the family and understand their needs and motivations. They are able to get a keen sense of the family dynamics, the ways family members communicate and interact with one and another and have a deep understanding of the needs of the children. This also helps direct conversations when issues arise with a neutral third party keeping in mind the best interests of the children throughout. Through these discussions, they are also able to help improve the communication between the parents and further assist them in learning to cooperate and coparent their children. The interactions are intended not only to assist them in resolving the dispute at hand, but also provide them tools and guidance to be used in the future if other issues arise.
Parenting coordinators are able to tailor their recommendations to each individual family and situation. While acknowledging and being guided by the law, their role has a wide latitude which allows them to personalize their approach and remedies to provide solutions tailored to each family.
While tremendous benefits can be seen for parents who enlist and effectively utilize the services of parenting coordinators, there are also invaluable benefits that can be seen by the children in the center of higher conflict families. Parenting coordinators provide a sense of continuity in how disputes between parents are resolved. The more detailed knowledge of a family, deeper understanding of a past history of disputes and ability to spend a greater amount of time on a particular issue provides the family with a dependable resource for dispute resolution which in turn provides stability for children in an often unstable environment.
Parenting coordinators provide both an alternative to post judgment motion practice and court intervention, and can provide more personalized service for dispute resolution that can benefit all members of a family.